"HEARD ANYTHING?"

Here has been the progress so far:
We got our first call on Monday, July 7 th, a baby boy just a few days old. Were we interested? We accepted the "placement" and let the celebration begin. I was calling people all over the place. The girls were through the roof. Mo raced home. People from work were texting him offering to help. It was so amazing the out pouring of help and love for a little boy we didn't even know yet. Then we got a call an hour later that he wasn't coming. "They went another direction." was what I was told on the phone. Needless to say, Mo and the girls were pretty upset. We decided not to tell the girls anymore about the calls unless the baby is on the doorsteps--but ofcourse they may read it here. I was actually doing fairly well. "He wasn't meant to be ours.", I kept saying. When I called my mom to tell her, she said, "That baby was so loved already and he didn't even know it." And she was right.
Then we got a call on Thursday, July 10th. Accepted the child, then it also got cancelled. Then got another call that morning. Accepted the child, then it got cancelled. Then got another call that afternoon, and accepted the child only to have the agency call us again that the child would not be coming.
At this point, my heart had been ripped out. I am to the point of tears and questioning everything I thought I knew about God wanting us to do this. "He wasn't meant to be ours." doesn't mean any thing to me any more when I have a room full of clothes, wipes and an empty crib. I wasn't prepared for any of that.
Our experience has been so different than our friends I mentioned earlier in this blog. They got a call before their license was even in and they have had their boys for almost a year now. But yet, we wait.
After a good cry, a hot bath, painting my toenails "always scarlet", large amounts of pizza and soda, and some praise music, my disposition was once again cheerful.
And now, we wait.